I'm Cold!

"I'm Cold!"*

*A drunk stumbles out of a bar and he needs to pee,
so he makes his way into the cemetery behind the
tavern. He walks right to the edge of a freshly dug
grave, loses his balance and falls in.

There's a puddle of water in the hole, and he
spends the rest of the night yelling, "Help me, I'm
cold! Someone help me, I'm cold!"

At closing time, another drunk walks behind the bar
to pee, and hears the noise. He gets to the open
grave, looks down and says,

"Of course you're cold, you idiot, you kicked all the dirt off yourself!"

**************************************************************

"Free Drink?"*
*
A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him,
"What'll you have?"
 
The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender
hands him the drink, and says "That'll be nine dollars,"
to which he replies "What are you talking about? I
don't owe you anything for this."
 
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the
conversation, then says to the bartender, "You
know, he's got you there. In the original offer,
which constitutes a binding contract upon
acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."
 
The bartender's not impressed, but says to the
guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't
ever let me catch you in here again."
 
The next day, same guy walks into the bar.
Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here?
I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!"
 
The guy says "What are you talking about? I've
never been in this place in my life", to which the
bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but it's uncanny.
You must have a double."

To which the guy replies, "Thank you! Make it a scotch."
Received on Sat Sep 20 09:23:21 2008