A Near Death Experience

"A Near Death Experience"*
*
A man was driving to work when a truck ran
a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold.
 
Passersby pulled him from the wreck and
revived him. He began a terrific struggle and
had to be tranquilized by the medics.

Later, when he was calm, they asked him why
he struggled so.
 
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing.
I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge,
flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing
in front of the 'S'!"

*********************************************

"Lion Taming"*

*A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two
young people show up. One is a good looking guy
in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous
blonde about the same age.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar
coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last
tamer so you both better be good or you're history.
Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun.
Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair,
the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's
cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to
charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing
her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls
up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues
to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his
head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks,
"I've never seen a display like that in my life." He
then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"

"No problem," replies the young man, "just get that
lion out of the way."
Received on Tue Sep 2 10:29:31 2008