The Lawyer's Dog

"The Lawyer's Dog"*
*
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, b-lines
for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off
the counter.
 
The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks,
"if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of
meat from my store, do I have a right to demand
payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"
 
"Absolutely," the lawyer responded.
 
The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You
owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from
me this morning."
 
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher
a check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher,
browsing through his mail, finds an envelope
from the lawyer.
 
The contents read "Consultation: $25.00."

*******************************************

"Donations To The United Way"*
*
The local United Way office realized that it had
never received a donation from the town's most
successful lawyer, so a volunteer was sent to
solicit his donation.
 
"Sir, you have a successful law practice. You must
be worth millions. Surely you could give back a
little to your community through The United Way."
 
The lawyer said, "First, are you aware that my
mother is dying from a long, painful illness? And
that she has medical bills far beyond her ability to pay?"
 
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Uh, no."
 
"Second, did you know my brother, a disabled
veteran, is blind, confined to a wheelchair, and
unable to support his wife and six children?"
 
The stricken United Way rep mumbled another, "Uh, no."
 
"Third, do you realize that my sister's husband
died in a dreadful traffic accident leaving her
penniless, with a huge mortgage and three young children?"
 
The United Way rep was humiliated. "No, sir. I had no idea."
 
The lawyer concluded, "Well, then. If I don't give
any money to them, why do you think I'd give any to you?!"
Received on Thu Oct 23 08:32:15 2008