For The Perfect Marriage

"Red Skelton's Recipe For The Perfect Marriage"

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,
good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is
in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere....but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the
kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!' So I
bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water
in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the
garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's on the
TV?' I said, 'Dust!'
Received on Mon May 26 08:39:02 2008