Curtain Rods

"Curtain Rods"
aka "Best Divorce Story Ever"

She spent the first day packing her belongings into
boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day,
she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at
their beautiful dining room table by candle-light,
put on some soft background music, and feasted
on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle
of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and
every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp
shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the
husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was
bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place
out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and
carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were
hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to
set off gas canisters, during which they had to move
out for a few days and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen
refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer
and decided to move. A month later, even though
they had cut their price in half, they could not find
a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and
eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money
from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things
were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.
She listened politely and said that she missed her
old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell
was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of
what the house had been worth, but only if she were
to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered
the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling
as they watched the moving company pack everything
to take to their new home.........

And, to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
Received on Fri Jun 13 06:38:20 2008