Suicidal Blonde

"New Thermos"

A Blonde was shopping at Target, and came
across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite
fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it
to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos ... it keeps hot
things hot, and cold things cold."

"Wow," said the Blonde, "that's amazing ... I'm going
to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to
work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that?" he asked.

"Why, that's a thermos . .. it keeps hot things hot and
cold things cold," she replied.

Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"

The Blonde replied, "Two popsicles and some coffee."

***********************************************

"Suicidal Blonde"

A Blonde hurried into the emergency room late
one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room
doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit
suicide by shooting off your finger?"

"No, silly," the Blonde said, "first I put the gun to my
chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for
these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I
just paid $3, 000.00 to get my teeth straightened.
I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This is
going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my
other ear before I pulled the trigger."
Received on Mon Jun 9 10:25:40 2008