Oneliners ILVIII & ILIX

"Oneliners ILVIII"

That which you can't give away, you don't possess. . .
it possesses you.

Never confuse having a career with having a life.

No answer is also an answer.

A happy time is never gone, if it leaves a special memory.

The economy depends on economists, as much as the weather does on
forecasters.

The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.

For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with
ignition trouble.

Life is tough, but I'm tougher.

Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but
all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

It is best to give advice in only two circumstances;
when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

The less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were
counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.

With all the scientific research going on, I'd like to find
one scientist who can tell us when mosquitoes sleep!

It must be election time:
Congress wants to tax oil companies and give consumers rebates.

A child, of course, is truly a miracle:
a creature who knows all the questions at eight, and all the answers at
eighteen.

Don't tell me that worry doesn't do any good.
I know better. The things I worry about, don't happen.

*******************************************************

"Oneliners ILIX"

Home computers are the perfect thing for women
who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration.

I just got my gas bill and thought it was an offer for the house.

When did "No problem" become the response to "Thank you"?

An old geezer with a ponytail is known as Oldy-Locks.

Bush's rigged elections didn't go over in Iraq like they did here in the
USA!

Speak well of your enemies; you made them.

One of the important duties of a teacher is to keep a lot of live wires
grounded.

My son is an honor student at the state correctional facility.

Gutters are just leaf holders.

An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience.

You have to excuse me, I'm feeling like myself today.

Raising your voice in an argument lowers the chance for reconciliation.

Unless he's all yours, he's still hers.

Anyone who says, "Easy as taking candy from a baby," has never tried it.

Love is insanity with a collaborator.

People who think they know everything are the easiest to fool.

I don't care who you are, what you're driving or where you'd rather be.

Most conversations are the deliverance of monologues in the presence of
a witness.

Philosophy is the thing that enables the rich to claim that being poor
is no disgrace.

The evening news is where they begin with "good evening" and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Received on Tue Jan 22 07:42:05 2008