Sunday Dinner for Italians

"Sunday Dinner for Italians"

Italians have a $40,000 kitchen, but use the
$259 stove from Sears in the basement to cook.

There is some sort of religious statue in the
hallway, living room, bedroom, front porch and backyard.

The living room is filled with old wedding
favors with poofy net bows and stale almonds
(they are too pretty to open).

A portrait of the Pope and Frank Sinatra in the dining room.

G~d forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat
Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco American, Ragu,
Prego or anything else in a jar or can
(tomato paste is the exception).

Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef.
We are Italians, we don't care about cholesterol.

Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the
manicotti, gnocchi, lasagna and soup.

If anyone EVER says ES-CAROLE, slap 'em in
the face -- it's SHCAROLE!

If they ever say ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP, let
the idiot know that there is no wedding, nor
is there an Italian in the soup. Also, the tiny
meatballs must be made by hand.

No matter how hard you know you were
going to get smacked, you still came home
from church after communion, you stuck half
a loaf of bread in the sauce pot, snuck out a
fried meatball and chowed down. You'll make
up for it next week at confession.

Sunday dinner was at 2:00 . The meal went like this...

Table is set with everyday dishes...doesn't
matter if they don't match...they're clean,
what more do you want?

All the utensils go on the right side of the
plate and the napkin goes on the left. Put a
clean kitchen towel at Nonno & Papa's plate
because they won't use napkins.

Homemade wine and bottles of 7up are on the table.

First course, Antipasto...change plates.

Next, Macaroni (Nonna called all pasta
Macaroni)...change plates.

After that, Roasted Meats, Roasted
Potatoes, Over-cooked Vegetables...change plates.

THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE
BEGINNING OF THE MEAL) would you eat
the salad (HOMEMADE OIL & VINEGAR
DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.

Next, Fruit & Nuts - in the shell (on paper
plates because you ran out of the other ones).

Coffee with Anisette (Espresso for Nonno,
'Merican' coffee for the rest) with hard
cookies to dip in the coffee.

The kids go play...the men go to lie down.
They slept so soundly you could perform
brain surgery on them without
anesthesia..the women clean the kitchen.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - half
the sentence was English, the other half Italian.

Italian mothers never threw a baseball in
their life, but can nail you in the head with a
shoe thrown from the kitchen while you're
in the living room.

Prom Dress that Zia Ceserina made
you...$20.00 for material. Prom hair-do from
Cousin Angela...$Free. Turning around at
prom to see your entire family (including
G~dparents) standing in the back of the gym...
PRICELESS!
Received on Sun Feb 3 08:26:42 2008