Signs Of Trouble In Santa's Marriage

"Signs Of Trouble In Santa's Marriage"*

*10. He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad
Swedish exchange students.

9. Mrs. Claus calls him "that fat freak in the red
underwear."

8. He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed.

7. He's been spending a little too much time with
the life-sized holiday Barbie.

6. His new live-in person elf valet, Steve.

5. Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship with
accountant from New Jersey.

4. He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows
when she's awake because he's bugged the bedroom.

3. Lately, she keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe when
she brings the elves their morning coffee.

2. Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing
in front of the fireplace.

1. Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants.
Received on Sat Jan 3 16:25:37 2009