Mouse vs Keyboard

"Mouse vs Keyboard"*

*On one call, the caller seemed to be taking an
inordinately long time to complete each instruction
she was given.

Agent: Ma'am, I can't help noticing that every time
I give you an instruction, it takes a really long time
before you get back to me. Is your computer that slow?

Caller: Oh, no, it's just the stupid, stupid design of
this computer. Every time I want to click something,
I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again,
I have to unplug the mouse. Because there's only one jack.

Agent: Ma'am, you do realize that there's a jack on the
keyboard itself? You're supposed to plug the mouse
into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.

Caller: Are YOU KIDDING ME!? Oh, wait a minute ­yes,
I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier!

Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been
using your computer that way?

Caller: Six weeks!

*********************************************************

"Canadian Customer"*

*A Canadian customer was calling to find out if
there was a faster way to trigger menu commands
than mousing up to the menus.

Agent: Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts
for many of those commands. For example, suppose
you want to trigger the Select All command…

Caller: Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do it?

Agent: Well, you just press Control-A.

Caller (after a pause): Well, that’s not working for me.

Agent: Do you have a text document open in front of you?

Caller: Yes, I sure do.

Agent: OK, now press Control-A.

Caller: I am, but nothing happens.

Agent: The text isn't highlighted?

Caller: No, there’s no change at all.

Agent: That’s odd. If you press Control-A, the whole
document should be highlighted. Try it again. Press
Control-A. Tell me exactly what’s happening.

Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): Listen.
I'm pressing Control, eh? And nothing’s happening, eh?
Received on Wed Aug 27 09:50:47 2008