Educated Monkey

"Educated Monkey"*

*A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey.

The store owner points towards three identical looking
monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.

"The one on the left costs $500," says the store owner.

"Why so much?" asks the customer.

"Because it can program in C," answers the store owner.

The customer inquires about the next monkey and is
told, "That one costs $1500. It knows Visual C++ and
Object-Relational technology."

The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs $3000," answers the store owner.

"3000 dollars!!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"

To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never
seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."

******************************************************

"Falling Victim To Timing"*
*
For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at
9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late.
 
Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M.
passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation.
 
All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at
his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.
 
Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes
dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his
glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock,
punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon
him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs
in the subway. Nearly killed myself."
 
And the boss said, "And to roll down two flights of
stairs took you a whole hour?"
Received on Sat Aug 16 08:08:01 2008