The Working Duck

"Ducking Grapes"

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender,
"Got any grapes?"

The bartender looks at him and says, "This is a bar,
I've booze, but no grapes."

The next day the duck walks into the bar and says
to the bartender, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender looks at him and says, "I told you
yesterday this is a bar, I've got beer, I've got whiskey,
but no grapes."

The next day the duck walks into the bar and says to the
bartender, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender says, "I told you three times already, this
is a bar, not a fruit stand, get the hell out of here!"

The next day the duck walks into a bar and says to the
bartender, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender says, "I've told you four times, BEER,
WHISKEY, NO FRUIT! You ask me that one more
time and I will nail your bill to the bar!"

The duck leaves, but the very next day he's back.
The duck walks into the bar and says to the
bartender, "Got any nails?"

The bartender says, "NO."

The Duck says, "GOOD! Got any grapes?"

*******************************************

"The Working Duck"

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.

"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now
can I have my beer and my sandwich, please?"

"Certainly," says the bartender, "sorry about that,
it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What
are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road,"
explains the duck.

So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich,
pays and leaves.

This continues for 2 weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub
and the bartender tells him about the incredible talking duck.

"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "get him to come see me."

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub.

The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, I lined you up
with a top job paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus." says the bartender.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right," replies the bartender.

"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all
the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole
in the middle?" asks the duck.

"That's right!" says the bartender.

The duck looks confused and asks: "What do they
want with a plasterer?"
Received on Thu Sep 6 12:10:09 2007