Selling Bibles

"Political Control"

Two political candidates were having a hot debate.
Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other,
"What about the powerful interest that controls you?"

And the other guy screamed back, "You leave my
wife out of this!"

*********************************************

"Selling Bibles"

A pastor concluded that his church was getting
into serious financial troubles

While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
several cartons of new bibles that had never been
opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers
from the congregation who would be willing to sell the
bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately
needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer
for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul
earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable
of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about
Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to
himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.

Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage
Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their
cars stacked with bibles.

He asked them to meet with him and report the results
of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Eager to find out how successful they were, the minister
immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make
out selling our bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied,
"Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and
here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his
hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church
is indebted to you."

Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell
for the church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently
replied," I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles
on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid,
Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the
church is also indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said,
"And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?"
Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.

The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is
this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here!
Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church,
door to door, in just one week?"

Louie just nodded. "That's impossible!" both Jack and
Paul said in unison, "We are professional salesmen,
yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could?"

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think
you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know
f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Paul interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie,
just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied ,
"W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy
th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---
o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me
t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t- to y-y-you??"
Received on Sun Oct 28 07:36:32 2007