Days of the Week

"Days of the Week"
{By Cynthia MacGregor, www.cynthiamacgregor.com }

All right reserved. Reprinted with permission.

Because of the reaction people have when they wake
up and realize it's a workday again and the weekend
is over, the first day of the week is called Moanday.

Many people too busy to cook on the second day of the
week just open a can of beans. Hence the day is known
as Tootsday.

By the third day of the week, people are wondering
when they can ever find the time to get everything done
this week that they need to, hence the day is known as
Whensday.

Too bleary to even count properly, people think it's only
Day Three of the week on the next day, therefore it's
erroneously called Thirdsday.

On the last day of the workweek, people often go out
"for a few" after work. By the time they get home, they're
too tired to cook anything elaborate, so they just throw
a piece of meat, chicken, or fish in the skillet. That's
why the day is known as Fryday.

Saturday night all the singles let loose. There's a lot
of sexual hijinks. It's pretty obvious why the day is called Satyrday.

And on the last day of the week--and the weekend--people
look at all the items on their to-do lists that didn't get
crossed off, groan aloud, and make themselves promises
they won't keep. Therefore the day is called Soonday.

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"How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Home"
by Sandy Hubley

During disagreements attempt to use the garage
door opener as a stun gun. Tell your spouse he/she
is just lucky it didn't come with batteries.

Tell unwelcome guests that the baby digests better
if you toss him up in the air right after a meal.

On the family's shared home computer, add 147
bookmarks relating to the IRS, record a cough as an
alert signal, and rename all the files using anagrams
of each person's name because "they're easier to find
that way."

Have your spouse/child/parent paged at the mall and
ask if we need any milk.

Make dental appointments for each family member
on their birthdays so they won't forget.
Received on Sat Oct 20 00:52:48 2007