Bad News?

"Don't Try This At Home"

A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds
him under water for over five minutes.
Finally she hangs him.

But five minutes later they both go out together
and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?

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Answer: The woman was a photographer.
She shot a picture of her husband, the
developed it, and hung it up to dry.

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"Bad News?"

This guy's at work when he receives a call from the
hospital informing him that his wife's been in an
accident. He rushes to the emergency room where
he's met by the doctor. They sit down in the waiting
room and the doctor, with a very solemn look on his
face starts to speak. But before he can, the guy interrupts.

"Doc, don't tell me my wife's dead. I just can't take it.
Really, I can't take it. I love her."

Doctor : "Well, sir, I do have some bad news."

Again the guy interrupts. "Doc, just tell me, did she make it?"

Doctor: "As I was saying, we did all we could. Right
now she's in a vegetative state, which is likely where
she'll remain for the rest of her life. She can stay here
overnight, but after that, you'll have to take her home
because your insurance doesn't cover this type of thing."

The guy slumps, just crushed.

Doctor: "With the right care, which will include you
feeding her five times a day, cleaning her and giving
her constant care on a daily basis, she'll likely live
for at least another 30 years."

The guy sinks even lower, just crushed, and starts to cry.

Doctor: "As I said, your insurance doesn't cover this
kind of care, so you'll have to make some sort of
arrangements to purchase the equipment you'll
need for your wife. I would suggest you put your
house on the market today and sell it as quickly as
possible and buy a mobile home. You're gonna
need the excess cash. It should be enough to buy
the equipment your wife needs and for you to live
on for the next couple of months. By then, you
should be able to qualify for welfare and other
forms of state and federal aid."

By this point, the guy is sobbing uncontrollably.

The doctor reaches over, puts his hand on the
guy's shoulder and says, "Hey, look at me."

The guy looks up. At this point the doctor smiles
and says, "I'm just messing with you. She's dead!"
Received on Wed Oct 3 10:49:37 2007