Manliness Assessment

"Please take the following Manliness Assessment:"

1) In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2) You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've
both shared:

a) your views about what you expect from a s*xual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers

3) You time your org*sm so that:

a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter

4) Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5) Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra

6) Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You
tell her that it is:

a) No concern of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate

7) You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron

8) Foreplay is to sex as:

a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride

9) Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at
the end of a relationship?

a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville; population, YOU."

10) A woman who is uncomfortable watching you self-indulge:

a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort
of intimacy.
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

Evaluating the results:
If you answered "a" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you
really are a man.

If you answered "b" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a
little confused.

If you answered "c" more than 7 times, "You DA MAN!"
Received on Fri Nov 16 19:24:45 2007