Holding Water

"Holding Water"

A women is in the bar of a cruise ship and she asks
the bartender for a scotch and two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her drink she says,"It's my
birthday today and I'm on the cruise to celebrate
my 80th birthday."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday I'll
buy you a drink. In fact I'll take care of this one for you."

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her
right says, "I guess I should buy you a drink too."

The old woman says, "All right. Bartender I want a
scotch and two drops of water."

"All right" says the bartender.

As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says,
"Since I'm the only one around you that hasn't bought
you a drink I guess I might as well buy you one too."

The old woman says, "All right, bartender I want a
scotch and two drops of water."

"Comin' right up!" the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am I'm dying of
curiosity. Why the scotch and only two drops of water?"

The old woman replies, "Sonny, you learn that when
you're my age, you can hold your liquor but you sure
can't hold your water!"

**************************************************

"Listen To Your Loved Ones"

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering
things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked
out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the
doctor about the problems they were having with their
memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells
them that they were physically okay but might want to
start writing things down and make notes to help them
remember things.

The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up
from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going?"

He replies, "To the kitchen."

She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replies, "Sure."

She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write
it down so you can remember it?"

He says, "No, I can remember that."

She then says, "Well I also would like some
strawberries on top. You had better write that down
cause I know you'll forget that."

He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice
cream with strawberries."

She replies, "Well I also would like whipped cream on
top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write
that down I can remember that." He then fumes into the
kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and
hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You
forgot my toast."
Received on Sun May 13 08:39:42 2007