Designated...

"Designated ..."

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar,
hoping for a bust. At closing time, as everyone come out he
spotted his potential quarry.

The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely
walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
looking for his car. After trying his keys on five other
cars, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a
good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. He turned his
light on, then off, wipers on, then off.

He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped.
Finally, when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the
road and started to drive away. The patrolman, waiting for
this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He
administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great
surprise, the man blew a 0.00.

The patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment
must be broken!" exclaimed the patrolman.

"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I am the designated
decoy!"

**********************************************

"The New Corvette"

Jack, a Florida senior citizen, drove his brand new
Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off
down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the
wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing
the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway
patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the
elderly gentleman as he floored it to 100 mph, then
110, then 120 mph.

Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too
old for this nonsense!" pulled over to the side of the road
and waited for the Trooper to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the
driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and
said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday.
If you can give me a reason why you were driving 120
miles per hour that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said,
"Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper.
I thought you were bringing her back!"

"Have a good day Sir," said the Trooper.
Received on Fri Mar 23 06:28:52 2007