Creation of Life

"Funeral Speeches"

"Three friends from the local congregation were asked,
"When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation
members are mourning over you, what would you like
them to say?"

Edwin said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful
husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Robert commented, "I would like them to say I was a
wonderful teacher and servant of G~d who made a huge
difference in people's lives."

Bert said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look! He's moving!' "

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"Creation of Life"

On the first day, G~d created the dog and said:

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at
anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will
give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How
about only ten years and I'll give you back the other
ten?"

So G~d agreed.

On the second day, G~d created the monkey and
said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them
laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I
give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And G~d agreed.

On the third day, G~d created the cow and said:

"You must go into the field with the farmer all day
long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give
milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will
give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want
me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll
give back the other forty?"

And G~d agreed again.

On the fourth day, G~d created man and said:

"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this,
I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly
give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the
ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave
back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said G~d, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep,
play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we
slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten
years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
Received on Wed Mar 21 08:31:45 2007