St. Patrick's Skull

"The Winning Number"

"And the winning ticket is number 11," Father Ted
called at the St. Patrick's Day's charity raffle.

Everybody looked around to see who had won
the prize but no one had their hand up.

"Didn't you have ticket number 11 Father Dougal?"
Father Ted urged.

"So I do Father," said Father Dougal. "I'm sorry,
I was looking at it upside down!"

**********************************************

"At the Cemetery"

An Irish fella left the pub late one night, and since it
was late he figured to cut through the cemetery..

As he walked through it, he fell into a fresh cut grave..
Try as he could, the loose dirt allowed no hold, and
he kept slipping back into the hole.. Finally, he decided
to wait till morning and let the caretakers help him out,
so he sat in a corner and went to sleep..

A little later in the night, another Irish bloke made the
same shortcut, and he too fell into the grave site.. As
he scrambled at the sides to no avail, the first drunk
woke up..

"Ya kanna get out, I've tried", the first guy said..

He got out...

**********************************************

"St. Patrick's Skull"

Bud Nelson, from New York, flew to Knock Airport
in the west of Ireland on Business.

As he walked down the stairs from the plane onto
the runway he noticed a small Irishman standing
beside a long table with a assortment of Human Skulls.

"What are you doing?" asked the American.

"Oh, I'm selling skulls," replied the Irishman.

"And what skulls do you have?" said Bud.

"Well, I have the skulls of the most famous Irishmen
that ever lived!!" said the Irishman.

"That's great!" said Bud. "Give me some names!"

"Well!" said the Irishman, pointing to various skulls.
"That one there is James Joyce, the famous author
and playwright, that one there is St. Brendan, the
Navigator, that's Michael Collins the leader of the
1916 rising, and that one there is St. Patrick, the Patron
Saint of Ireland... G~d bless his soul.."

"Sorry" said Bud, "But did you say St. Patrick?"

"That's correct!" said the Irishman.

"I have to have that!" said Bud and paid him $1,650.00
in cash.

Bud flew back to New York and mounted his Skull on
the wall in his Pub.

People came from all over America to view this famous
Skull. He made a fortune over a five year period and
retired a very rich man.

During his retirement, he decided to go back to visit
Ireland, the land that made him a fortune.

Bud flew back into Knock airport, and while walking down
the stairs saw the same Irishman at the bottom of the stairs.

"Goodness", said Bud, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm selling skulls", replied the Irishman.

"And what skulls do you have today?" said Bud.

"Well, I have the skulls of the most famous Irishmen that
ever lived!!" said the Irishman.

"That's great!" said Bud. "Give me some names!"

"Well!" said the Irishman, pointing to various skulls.
"That one there is James Joyce, the famous author
and playwright, that one there is St. Brendan, the
Navigator, that's Michael Collins the leader of the
1916 rising, and that one there is St. Patrick, the Patron
Saint of Ireland... G~d bless his soul.."

"Sorry" said Bud, "But did you say St. Patrick?"

"That's Correct!" said the Irishman.

"Well!" said Bud, I was here almost 7 years ago and you
sold me a Skull a little bit bigger than that one there, and
you told me then that the skull was St. Patrick."

"Oh yes!" said the Irishman, "I remember you now!...you
see... This is St. Patrick when he was a Boy!!
Received on Sat Mar 17 07:08:06 2007