Attorney Q& A

"Good News & Bad News"

"I have good news and bad news," a defense
attorney told his client.

"First the bad news. The blood test came back,
and your DNA is an exact match with that found
at the crime scene."

"Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is only 140."

*******************************************

"Attorney Q& A"

How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light
bulb?
You won't find a lawyer who can change a light
bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw
a light bulb . . .

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it.
And one to sue the ladder company.

What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
Senator.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.

What do you get when you cross a bad politician
with a crooked lawyer?
Chelsea.

What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.
An anvil.

What happens when you cross a pig with a
lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

What's the difference between a lawyer and
a liar?
The pronunciation.

What's the difference between a lawyer and
an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion.

What's the difference between a lawyer and
a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Why did G~d create snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.
Received on Thu Mar 15 06:59:41 2007