Obituary Of The Late Mr. Common Sense {Insp}

"Obituary Of The Late Mr. Common Sense"

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Common Sense, who had been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable
lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair;
and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable
strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-
intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in
place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only
worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job that they themselves had
failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. He
declined even further when schools were required to
get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion
or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents
when a student became pregnant and wanted to have
an abortion.

Common Sense took a beating as the Ten Commandments
became contraband; churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense lost the will to live when you couldn't
defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and
the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost, after a woman
failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.
She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded
a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights,
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.
Received on Sun Jun 17 08:00:20 2007