Stick 'em up!

"Stick 'em up!"

A lot of people are desperate today. A fellow walked
up to me, he said, "You see a cop around here?"
I said no. He said, "Stick 'em up!"

Another fellow walked up to me and said, "Stick 'em down."

I said, "You mean stick 'em up."

He said, "No wonder I haven't made any money."
-- Henny Youngman

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"Ben & Decker"

Decker wasn't the brightest guy in the world, and his
coworkers were continually ribbing him at the factory.
One in particular, Gus, would greet him each
morning and precipitate this exchange:

"Say, Decker, you seen Ben?"

"Ben, who?"

"Ben' down and kiss my butt!"

Tired of falling for the same joke day after day, Decker
confided in his more worldly brother, who said, "Listen.
Next time you see this guy, ask him if he's seen Eileen.
He'll ask, 'Eileen who?' and you say, 'I lean over and
you kiss my butt!'"

Memorizing his lines, Decker went to the work early
to wait for Gus. As soon as the bully arrived, Decker ran over.

"Hey Gus, you seen Eileen?"

"No," Gus answered, "she ran off with Ben."

Decker frowned. "Ben who?"
Received on Wed Jul 4 16:00:49 2007