How To Drive Like A Floridian

"How To Drive Like A Floridian"
(OR a Californian!)

1. Turn signals will give away your next move.
A real Florida driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe
distance between you and the car in front of you,
or the space will be filled in by somebody else,
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the
smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop
sign. No one expects it and it will result in you
being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs
extensive bodywork, especially someone from
Florida or Georgia. With no- fault insurance the
other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible
to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing
foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those
of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the
right. It's a good way to prepare for people entering
the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only
as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable
in any County during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no
room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that
a Florida driver flashing his high beams behind
you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you
see an accident or even someone changing a tire.
This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Florida is the home
of high-speed slalom driving.

12. It is traditional in Florida to honk your horn at
cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every Florida driver
is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

14. In Florida, 'flipping someone the bird' is
considered a polite salute. This gesture should
always be returned!

Thank You & Have A Safe Journey!
Received on Fri Feb 23 08:08:31 2007