The Gunfighter

"The Gunfighter"

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who
wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the
world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew
that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he
was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man
standing at the bar who -- in his day -- had the reputation of being
the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to
the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great
ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing,
you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down
on your leg."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"Sure will," replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44
and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"

"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.

"You bet it will," said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his
gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

"Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any
more tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See
that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the
grease on the barrel of his gun.

"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle
and all."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

The Old Timer said,

"No, but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna
shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much if it's all
greased!"
Received on Fri Feb 23 08:07:06 2007