Ever Wonder?

"Ever Wonder?"

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $4.00
a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling
Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like
making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as
the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known
as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee
Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does
that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths: A. Jews do not recognize
Jesus as the Messiah. B. Protestants do not recognize the
Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. C. Baptists do not
recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people
from Holland called Holes?

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they
just stale bread to begin with?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but
a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? {Ok, this
one bites.}

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't
it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,
and dry cleaners depressed? {Didn't I run a much bigger joke
about this? - LadyHawke}

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it
Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of
bald men? {I asked a asked a bald man to see his license
specifically for that reason. He didn't find it humorous. -
LadyHawke}

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible
a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....
they're cramming for their final exam.

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny
little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese
mothers use? Toothpicks? {Ok, this one bites, too.}

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why
don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps
so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the
mail?

19 If it's t rue that we are here to help others, then what
exactly are the others here for?

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be
if it didn't zigzag?

22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

23. Finally, as income tax time approaches, did you ever
notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS"
together, it spells "THEIRS". Figures!
Received on Thu Feb 22 12:58:08 2007