Man Laws, Part I

"Man Laws"
Part I

1: Under no circumstances may two men share
an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
Circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning
her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party
may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family,
you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you have known a guy for more than 24 hours,
his sister is off limits forever unless you actually
marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's
fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the
temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday
present for another man. In fact, even remembering
your friend's birthday is strictly optional. At that point,
you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday
boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines
pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a
sporting event, you may ask the score of the game
in progress, but you may never ask who is playing.

10: You may be flatulent in front of a woman only
after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her
head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent
entertainment, she is officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink
only when you are sunning on a tropical beach ...
and it is delivered by a topless model and only
when it is free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril
are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you are in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends do not let friends wear Speedos. Ever.
Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that is his problem.
You did not see anything.
Received on Tue Feb 20 07:50:51 2007