Moonlighting

"Job Application Confession"

An applicant was filling out a job application.
When he came to the question, "Have you
ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No."

The next question, intended for people who
had answered in the affirmative to the previous
question, was "Why?"

The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

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"Moonlighting"

Sometimes there's not much work around. In times like
these, this is often especially true for ventriloquists. One
day, two out-of-work ventriloquists are talking on the
phone to each other and lamenting their condition. The
older one says, "Just between you and me, I've been
moonlighting lately as a medium."

The young ventriloquist is quite impressed. "Really?"
he says. "I didn't know that you were psychic!"

"Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not," confesses the older
man. "But what I did was rent a storefront and bought
a small round table, a crystal ball, and a turban. Then,
when people come in, I throw my voice and they think
that they're talking to their dead relatives."

"What a great idea!" says the young ventriloquist.

"You should try it too," suggests the first man. "You'll
see, it works great."

The next day, the young man goes out, rents a little
storefront, and buys a table, a crystal ball, and a turban.
He opens up for business, and an hour later a middle-
aged woman walks in. She sits down at the table across
from the ventriloquist and asks him, "Can you put me in
touch with my long-lost husband?"

"I sure can!" he answers. "Why, for just a hundred
dollars, you can hear your husband speak to you from
behind that curtain over there. Now I must warn you
that his voice might sound a little different, but that's
because he's talking to you from the spirit world."

"That's wonderful," says the woman eagerly.

"For a hundred and fifty dollars," the ventriloquist says,
"you could have a two-way conversation with your
husband, and talk back and forth with him."

The woman's voice rises in anticipation as she asks,
"You mean, I could communicate directly with my dear
departed Hubert?"

"Not only that," says the ventriloquist, getting just as
excited as the woman, "but for two hundred dollars,
you could actually carry on a two-way conversation
with your husband while I'm drinking a glass of water!"
Received on Wed Dec 12 05:25:25 2007