If My Body Were A Car

"Quality Control"

When you have one of those "I Hate My Job" days, try this:

On your way home from work stop at your local
pharmacy and go to the thermometer section, and
purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get
home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and
disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into some very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.

Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so
that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from
the box and read it very carefully. You will notice that
in small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson &
Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,
"I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer
quality control at Johnson & Johnson."

Have A Nice Day And Remember, There Is Always
Someone Else With A Job That Is More Of A Pain
In The Butt Than Yours!

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"If My Body Were A Car"

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be
thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've
got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish
and my paint job is getting a little dull ....

But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially
hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I
slip and slide and skid and bump into things
even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter. .....
either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
Received on Mon Dec 3 07:39:17 2007