Wolf Pelts

"Seeing Red"

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered
in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the
cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and
began hassling him about where he got it. He told
them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but
they persisted in hassling him to no end until finally he gave in.

"OK!" he said with exasperation, "Follow me." and
he flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following
close behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across the river
and into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down
and all the other bats excitedly gathered around him.

"Do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"

*************************************************

"Wolf Pelts"

Mike and Bill, are hanging out in the lone bar in a
one-horse town in northern Idaho, when a local
rancher walks in carrying a wolf pelt.

"Good work!" says the bartender. He pops the cash
register open, pulls out a wad of bills, and counts
them out into the rancher's outstretched hand.

After the rancher leaves, Mike asks the bartender,
"What was that all about?"

The barkeep says, "Haven't you boys heard? We got
us a real wolf problem in these parts, and the county
ain't done a thing about it. Why, just last week, a pack
of the damn varmints come onta my property and laid
waste t'my chicken coop. Ol' Man Miller down the road
even lost four of his cattle to the bloodthirsty beasts!
They're vicious, and they got no fear -- and they gotta
be stopped. So I'm offerin' a bounty -- a hundred dollars
to anybody who brings in a wolf pelt."

Mike and Bill look at each other, and immediately race
out of the bar to go hunt wolves.

After wandering around the hills for several hours, they
finally spot a lone wolf in the distance. Mike takes aim
with his rifle and shoots the wolf dead. The two fellas
sprint over to where the carcass lay, and Mike gets busy
with the pelt.

Suddenly, Bill says, "Hey, Mike, look."

"Not now," says Mike, "I'm busy."

Bill tugs on Mike's sleeve and says, "Mike, I think you
*really* ought to see this."

"Not now!" Mike says again. "Can't you see I've got a
hundred dollars in my hands?"

Bill's voice starts to waver. "Mike, please, just look!"

Mike stops what he's doing and looks up: The two
men are surrounded by a pack of wolves -- at least
fifty in all, every one of them growling, drooling,
gnashing their teeth, and licking their chops.

Mike takes in the sight and gasps:
"Oh, wow! We're really gonna be rich now!"
Received on Wed Aug 15 06:43:06 2007