Cards You Never See In Hallmark

"Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark"

"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad
no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful you have such
an ugly baby?

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold,
someone to love. After having met you, I've changed
my mind."

"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never
believed in Hell 'til I met you."

"Looking back over the years that we've been
together, I can't help but wonder: What the hell
was I thinking?"

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that
you're not here to ruin it for me."

"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's
your sister."

"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts
you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."

"Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never knew
what evil was before this!"

"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you
go, would like to take this knife out of my back.
You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."

"Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle
guys with boobs that are bigger than mine."

"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...
Almost Lifelike!

"When we were together, you always said you'd
die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's
time you kept your promise."

"I knew the day would come when you would leave
me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water
bowl and chew toys."

"We have been friends for a very long time, what
say we call it quits."

"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like
you're here."

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did
you ever find out who the father was?"

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a
sinking ship and there was only one life jacket....
I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."

"Your friends and I wanted to do something special
for your birthday---so we're having you put to sleep."

"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!"
(available only in Arkansas)
Received on Sat Apr 21 07:48:16 2007