It's Time For A Diet When...

"You Know It's Time For A Diet When..."

You dive into a swimming pool so your friends
can go surfing.

You have to apply your makeup with a paint roller.

Weight Watchers demands your resignation.

You step on a pennyweight scale that gives you
your fortune and it says, "One at a time please!"

Your face is so full that you look like you're
wearing horn-rimmed contact lenses.

The bus driver asks you to sit on the other
side because he wants to make a turn
without flipping over.

You're at school in the classroom and turn
around and erase the entire blackboard.

They throw puffed rice at your wedding.

You hiccup in your bathing suit, and it looks
like someone adjusting a venetian blind.

You fall down and try to get up, and in the
process rock yourself to sleep.

***************************************

"Top Nine Things Only Women Understand"

9. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

8. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

7. Crying can be fun.

6. FAT CLOTHES.

5. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

4. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered
a peak life experience.

3. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

2. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to
impossible.

And The Number One Thing Only Women Understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN!
Received on Fri Apr 20 08:50:34 2007