A Proven New Yorker

"New York Sarcasm"

Bob is a favorite conductor among commuters
on the Long Island Rail Road.
He has great rapport with the regulars,
but occasionally runs into a problem rider.

One passenger, for instance, seemed
irritated at having to hand over his ticket
to be punched.

"Where are you going today?" Bob asked,
smiling.

"Well, what does the ticket say?" replied
the traveler sarcastically.

  "Um, it says you're on the wrong train,"
Bob informed him.

"What am I supposed to do now?" asked
the flustered passenger.

Returning the punched card, Bob replied
calmly, "Ask the ticket."

******************************************

"A Proven New Yorker"

A quiet little man was brought before a judge.
The judge looked down at the man and then
at the charges and then down at the little man
in amazement.

"Can you tell me in your own words what
happened?" he asked the man.

"I'm a mathematician dealing in the nature
of proof."

"Yes, go on," said the astounded judge.

"Well, I was at the library and I found the books
I wanted and went to take them out. They told
me my library card had expired and I had to
get a new one. So I went to the registration
office and got in another line. And filled out
my forms for another card. And got back in
line for my card."

"And?" said the judge.

"And he asked 'Can you prove you're from
New York City?' ....So I stabbed him."
Received on Tue Sep 26 17:40:16 2006