How Many Kids?

"Steak House"

While at the Benihanna steak house, my
son in law began choking on some thing
that was in the fried rice. Our cook had
severed a finger joint making the food and
I thought maybe that was what perhaps
choking my son in law.

My daughter who has had Red Cross training
knocked her husband down and jumped on
him with her knees in his chest and had
both hands around his neck.

It worked and he coughed up some thing
under the table.

I told my daughter I thought the Hymlich
anti choking maneuver was supposed to
be done by grabbing the victim around the
waist from the back.

"It is done differently when you are married,"
she said to me sweetly.

************************************************

"How Many Kids?"

The rich, old, dying man called his lawyer to
his bedside for the purpose of disposing of
his worldly goods.

"How many children have you?" the lawyer
asked.

"That, sir," said the old-timer, "will be decided
by the courts when my will is contested."

************************************************

"Elaborate Stone"

A woman's husband dies. He had left $30,000
to be used for an elaborate funeral.

After everything is done at the funeral home
and cemetery, she tells her closest friend
that "there is absolutely nothing left from the
$30,000."

The friend asks, "How can that be?"

The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost was
$6,500. And of course I made a donation to
the church -- that was $500, and I spent
another $500 for the wake, food and drinks
-- you know. The rest went for the memorial
stone".

The friend says, "$22,500 for ... My goodness,
how big is it?"

The widow says, "Four and a half carats."
Received on Fri Sep 22 02:12:17 2006