More Short Takes

"Short Takes"

When trouble arises and things look
bad, there is always one individual
who perceives a solution and is willing
to take command. Very often, that individual
is crazy.

I'm sick and tired of all the Bush-bashing.
You'd think he'd started a war, destroyed
the budget and allowed us to be overrun
with foreigners.

The problem with being retired is that you
never know what day it is,where you're
supposed to be or what you're supposed
to be doing. It's much like working for the
federal government.

You can say this for these ready-mixes,
the next generation isn't going to have
any trouble making cakes exactly like
mother used to make.

73% of Americans say that immigration
is a serious problem.
The other 27% said, 'No habla ingles.'

According to experts at the National Institute
of Mental Health, depressed people die
much sooner than everyone else. Well, that's
just what depressed people need to hear!
That should cheer them up!

I finally figured out why, after invading both
Afghanistan and Iraq, Bush now wants to
invade Iran. It's got nothing to do with
terrorism, oil, 9/11, Osama, WMDs or nukes.
If he gets all three in a row, he can start
building houses and hotels.

Committing is hard for men. They can't
even commit to one TV program. They
get a nervous feeling that there's something
better on another channel.

Did you notice that people who jog in
ninety-degree weather are never properly
dressed for it? They should be wearing
straitjackets!

Taxation is a lot like sheep shearing... As
long as you shear a sheep, it will continue
to produce a new crop of wool. But you can
skin the animal only once.
Received on Thu Sep 21 13:03:18 2006