Classes For Women

"Classes For Women"
by "Michael E. Cawthra"
<mcawthra@jeffco.k12.co.us>
Reprinted with permission

Classes for women at the learning center
for adults - registration must be completed
by Oct 5th. Note: due to the complexity and
difficulty level of their contents, class size
will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

Class 1: How to Fill Up the Gas Tank
in the Car
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday
for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2: The Shower: Does it Really
Take Twenty Minutes to Warm the
Water?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks,
Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3: Fundamental Differences
Between the Significant Other’s Back
and a Heating Pad: Pictures and
Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 4: Snuggling: It’s NOT All It’s
Cracked Up to Be
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks,
Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours
beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 5: Learning How to Fix Things:
A Hammer Is Your Friend
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 6: Health Watch - Talking During
Super Bowl/World Series/ Stanley Cup
Can Be Harmful to Your Health. Graphics
and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday,
Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 7: Real Women ask for Sex. Real
Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be
determined.

Class 8: Is it genetically impossible to
talk on the phone for less than 1.5 hours?
Phone Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's
noon, 2 hours.

Class 9: How to be the Ideal Shopping
Companion: Making a decision in
less than fourteen wardrobe changes.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for
2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 10: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy -
Remembering Sports Statistics for Longer
Than a Nanosecond. Cerebral Shock
Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies
Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday,
Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 11: The Stove/Oven - What it is and
How it is Used for Women. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Received on Tue Sep 12 12:17:31 2006