Surprised Burglar

"Surprised Burglar"

This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen.

He was all loaded down with the things he
was going to steal. She had no weapon and
was all alone. The only thing that she could
think to do was quote scripture.

So, she held up a hand and said: "ACTS 2:38!!!"

The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes
to the point that she is able to get to the phone
and call 911 for the cops.

When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen
in place in fear.

They are very much surprised that a woman
alone with no weapon could do this.

One of them asked the lady: "How did you do
this?"

The woman replied: "I quoted scripture."

The cop turned the burglar:

"What was it about the scripture that had
such an effect on you?"

The burglar replied: "Scripture! What
scripture? I thought she said she had
an ax and two 38s."

******************************************

"The Dead Mule"

A preacher went to his church office on
Monday morning and discovered a dead
donkey in the church yard so he called the
police. Since there didn't appear to be any
foul play, the police referred the preacher
to the health department.

The health department explained that since
there was no health threat, the preacher
should call the sanitation department.

The sanitation manager explained that he
couldn't pick up the donkey without
authorization from the mayor.

Now, the preacher knew the mayor, and
was not to eager to call him. The mayor had
a bad temper and was generally hard to deal
with, but the preacher called him anyway.

The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately
began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally
said, "Why did you call me anyway? Isn't it your
job to bury the dead?"

The preacher paused for a brief prayer and
then explained, "Yes, mayor, it is my job to bury
the dead, but I wanted to notify the ass's next of
kin first. So I decided to call you!"
Received on Sun Sep 10 08:22:05 2006