Cruising

"Cruising"

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and
orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As
the bartender gives her the drink she says,
"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th
birthday and it's today.."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your
birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one
is on me."

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman
to her right says, "I would like to buy you a
drink, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender,
I want a Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming up," says the bartender.

As she finishes that drink, the man to her
left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender,
I want another Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am,
I'm dying of curiosity; why the Scotch with
only two drops of water?"

The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're
my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor;
holding your water, however, is a whole
other issue."

*************************************

"Old is When..."

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, "
Let's go upstairs and make love," and
you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"

"OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment
you on your new alligator shoes and you're
barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches
your fancy and your pacemaker opens
the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls
all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where
your spouse goes, just as long as you
don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to
slow down by the doctor instead of by
the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN ..."Getting a little action"
means you don't need to take any fiber
today.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... "Getting lucky" means
you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ....An "all-nighter"
means not getting up to use the bathroom
during the night.

AND

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure if these
are jokes or facts.
Received on Thu Nov 23 07:49:05 2006