Disabilities

"Cut Off"

A man walks in the front door of a bar. He is obviously
drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a
stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a
drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it
appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he
could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and
could a cab be called for him?

The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs,
grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers
out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk
stumbles in the SIDE door of the bar. He wobbles up to
the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes
over and, still politely - but more firmly, refuses
service to the man due to his inebriation, and again
offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender
for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the
side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his
head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through
the BACK door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar
stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a
drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically
reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be
served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will
be called immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender, and in
hopeless anguish, cries, "MAAAN! How many bars
do you work at?"

*****************************************

"Disabilities"

My wife and I take turns walking our five-year-old
daughter to the bus stop for school every morning.
Today was my turn, and as me and all the other
moms in the neighborhood waited one of them
asked me to say hello to my wife.

"I will," I said. "it'll make her feel better. She has
pneumonia..."

"Oh, poor girl," they all said in unison.

One of them crooked her eyebrow at me and said,
"I hope you're helping her with the kids, the cooking
and cleaning."

"I can't," I said pointing to the band aid on my index
finger. "Hangnail."
Received on Tue Nov 21 08:29:17 2006