The Birth Order Of Children

"The Birth Order Of Children"

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes
as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as
long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular
clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you
remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth
month.

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,
color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly
in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the
clothes are clean and discard only the ones
with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper,
a frown-you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails
threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how
to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you
put it away until you can go home and wash
and boil it.

2nd baby:! When the pacifier falls on the floor,
you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's
bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop
it back in.

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers
every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two
to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before
others start to complain about the smell or you
see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby
Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby
Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket
and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with
a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door,
you remember to leave a number where you
can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter
to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day
just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching
to be sure your older child isn't squeezing,
poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day
hiding from the children.

Pictures:

1st baby: You take a picture every time the child
moves.

2nd baby: You take pictures at birthday parties.

3rd baby: You wait for school pictures or copies
of pictures your friends have taken.

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you
rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin,
you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin
you deduct it from his allowance.
Received on Sat Nov 11 08:12:06 2006