Cannibal Island

"Smart Irishman"

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and
clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers.
He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of
drinkin' fools. I'll give $500 American dollars
to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of
Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes of the
Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty
minutes later, the same Irishman who left
shows back up and taps the Texan on the
shoulder.

"Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.

The Texan says "Yes," and he asks the
bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately, the Irishman tears into all 10
pints of beer, drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan
sits down in amazement. The Texan gives
the Irishman the $500 and asks, "If ya don't
mind me askin', where did you go for that
30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the
pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

************************************************

"Cannibal Island"

A shipwreck in the South Pacific has only
three survivors who wash ashore on an
island inhabited by cannibals.

One is Frenchman. One is an Englishman.
One is a New Yorker.

They are quickly captured by the natives and
brought to the village where the tribal elders
announce that the foreigners will be eaten
for dinner and their skins will be used to
build a new canoe for the warriors.

As the Frenchman is dragged away kicking
and screaming, he yells, "Viva La France!"

As the Englishman is dragged away scratching
and clawing, he screams, "G~d Save The Queen!"

As the New Yorker is dragged away, he pulls
out a switchblade and stabs himself repeatedly...
shouting, "Screw Your Canoe!"
Received on Mon May 29 06:03:34 2006