The Tyson Chicken Account

"The Tyson Chicken Account"

A guy from Tyson Foods arranges to visit
the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing
he whispers, "Your Eminence, we have a
deal for you. If you change The Lord's
Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread....
' to 'give us this day our daily chicken....' then
we will donate $500 million dollars to the Church".

The Pope responds saying, "That is impossible.
The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must
not be changed."

"Well," says the Tyson man, "we are prepared
to donate $1 billion to the Church if you change
the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our
daily bread....' to 'give us this day our daily
chicken...."

Again the Pope replies "That is impossible.
The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it
must not be changed".

Finally, the Tyson guy says, "This is our last
offer. We will donate $5 billion to the church
if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us
this day our daily bread....' to 'give us this day
our daily chicken....'" and he leaves.

The next day the Pope meets with the College
of Cardinals to say that he has good news
and some bad news.

"The good news is that the Church has come
into $5 billion."

"The bad news is that we are losing The
Wonderbread Account!"

*****************************************

"Mix Up"

A new business was opening and one
of the owner's friends wanted to send
him flowers for the occasion. They arrived
at the new business site and the owner
read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."

The owner was angry and called the florist
to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious
mistake and how angry he was, the florist
replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake,
but rather than getting angry, you should
imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral
taking place today, and they have flowers
with a note saying,... 'Congratulations on
your new location!'"
Received on Fri May 19 02:55:55 2006