"The Lesser Known G~ds, and Demi-G~ds Of Greece" Part II

"The Lesser Known G~ds
        And Demi-G~ds Of Greece"
Part II

* Pancreas - Demi-g~d of Dessert.

Father of the sugar g~ds, Arabinose, Fructose,
and Glucose. Pancreas was a short-lived g~d
who spent most of his time on coffee breaks
eating donuts. His marriage to Diabetes was
no help to him at all and he died soon after
they had their three sons.

* Peristalsis - G~d of Bowel Movements.

Revered for his strength and perseverance,
Peristalsis occupied a special place in the
bathrooms of old Greece. Figurines in his
likeness stood next to or near the place of
anal evacuation. A special prayer to Peristalsis
often accompanied a trip to the bathroom in
some of the better bathrooms of high-society
Greeks.

* Uvula - G~ddess of Swallowing.

Uvula was an often unappreciated g~ddess
who spent most of her time at the back of the
room of all the other g~ds and g~ddesses on
Mount Olympus. Only when she cleared her
throat did anyone bother to pay any attention to
her. She originally came from Rome and was
accepted into the Greek g~ddess system, but
only because of the promise she showed.

She was reported to spend some time with the
g~d Fe*latio (a part-Italian g~d) who promised
to show her something she could do that would
make her one of the most revered g~ddesses
of all of Mount Olympus (at least by the g~ds
there). They were to meet one hot and steamy
night under an olive tree where Fe*latio would
show her what she could do. Unfortunately,
Fe*latio never came.

* Zirconia - G~ddess of Costume Jewelry.

Often in direct competition with the g~ddesses
Titanium and Platinum, Zirconia was pretty
much always relegated to being allowed only
to attend the lesser parties on Mount Olympus
at which the great g~ds and g~ddesses were
rarely present. As a result, Zirconia was
subsequently ignored by most historians and
now only shows up on the backs of magazines
for really cheap prices.
Received on Fri May 19 02:54:42 2006