Signs To Hang In The Office

"Firing"

The boss calls four of his employees into
the office and says, "I'm really sorry, but I'm
going to have to let one of you go."

Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority."

Female Employee: "And I'm a woman."

Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll
hit you with an age discrimination suit so
fast it'll make your head spin."

To which they all turn to look at the helpless
young, white, male employee, who thinks
a moment, then responds: "I think I might
be gay..."

**************************************

"Signs To Hang In The Office"

I can please only one person per day, and
today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking
too good either.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have
a perception problem.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing
sound they make as they go flying by.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how
do you explain whales?

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are
cowards who haven't got the guts to bite
people themselves.

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one
finger on the escape key.

I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm just a carrier.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how
to get along without it.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for
you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get
sucked into jet engines.

Someday we'll look back on all this and
plow into a parked car.
Received on Mon May 15 06:50:27 2006