Why Terrorists Blow Themselves Up...

"No Such News"

In recent days I have seen newspaper
headlines saying :

Russians Blockade Ukrainians !

Jews Stone Jews In Israel !

Muslim Terrorists In Iraq Kill Other
Terrorist Groups !

Six Baptist Churches Burned In Alabama !

...the Headline I *Never* See Says:

Agnostics Slaughter Atheists ! ! !

***************************************

"Why Terrorists Blow Themselves Up..."

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim
terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Let's see now:
* No Jesus.
* No Wal-Mart.
* No television.
* No cheerleaders.
* No baseball.
* No football.
* No basketball.
* No hockey.
* No golf.
* No tailgate parties.
* No Home Depot.
* No hot dogs. No burgers.
* More than one wife. (HELLO, ARE YOU
CRAZY?)
* Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
* Constant wailing from the guy next-door
because he's sick and there are no doctors.
* Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
* No chocolate chip cookies.
* No Girl Scout cookies.
* No Christmas or Hanukkah.
* You can't shave.
* Your wives can't shave.
* You can't shower to wash off the smell
of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
* The women have to wear baggy dresses
and veils at all times.
* Your bride is picked by someone else.
* She smells just like your donkey, but your
donkey has a better disposition.
Then they tell you that when you die it all
gets better!

I mean, really. IS THERE ANY MYSTERY
HERE?
Received on Fri May 12 06:18:30 2006