True Phrases

"Mirror Kissing"

The principal of a local town's middle school
was having problems with the condition of the
girls' bathroom. The girls were leaving lipstick
kisses all over the bathroom mirrors. Warnings
to cease this activity were announced daily
over the loudspeaker to no avail.

One day the principal gathered all of the suspected
girls in the bathroom and introduced them to the
janitor, Mr. Jones. Asking them again to stop this
activity. He emphasized how hard it was for Mr.
Jones to clean the mess, and then asked Mr.
ones to demonstrate how hard it was to clean
the lipstick off of the mirror.

Mr. Jones stepped forward, withdrew a long
handled brush dipped it into the toilet bowl and
proceeded to clean the mirrors. The principal is
happy to announce that there are no more
problems with lipstick on the mirrors.

***********************************************

"True Phrases"

Some phrases are only used when they
are untrue.

    "I'm not racist, but ..."

    "I'm sure I ..."

    "I don't want to contradict you..."

    "With all due respect"

    "Far be it from me ... "

    "It goes without saying..."

    "... not to mention ..."

    "No offence"

    "Oh no, I couldn't possibly"

    "Oh go on then - just one."

    "I shan't make this a long speech."

    "Nothing, darling."

    "Serves 4"

    "I'm no prude, but ..."

    "Family planning"

    "Network upgrade"

    "Care in the community"

    "Back in 5 min"

    "I'll just put you on hold for a moment."

    "Congratulations! You have been specially
chosen/selected ..."
Received on Thu Mar 30 08:58:54 2006