Cats and Teenagers

"Cats and Teenagers"

Teenagers have a lot in common with cats:

Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads
when you call them by name.

No matter what you do for them, it is not
enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are
barely adequate to compensate for the
privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.

You rarely see a cat walking outside of the
house with an adult human being, and it
can be safely said that no teenager in his
or her right mind wants to be seen in public
with his or her parents.

Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno,
neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack
a smile.

No cat or teenager shares your taste in
music.

Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room
sofa for hours on end without moving, barely
breathing.

Cats are said to have nine lives. Teenagers
carry on as if they did, too.

Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same
manner -- communicating that ultimate human
ecstasy: a sense of complete and utter boredom.

Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's
furniture.

Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes
have been known to return in the middle of the
night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom.
Teenagers are definitely not above that sort of
behavior.

Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best
sources of advice are not other parents, but
veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a
guidebook on cats at hand at all times.

And remember, above all else, put out the food
and do not make any sudden moves in their
direction. When they make up their minds, they
will finally come to you for some affection and
comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for
all concerned.
Received on Wed Mar 15 07:59:11 2006