Laws Of The Natural Universe

"Laws Of The Natural Universe"

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands
become coated with grease your nose will
begin to itch or you'll have to urinate.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when
dropped, will roll to the least accessible
corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being
watched is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a
wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you
were late for work because you had a flat
tire, the very next morning you will have a
flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic
lanes), the one you were in will start to move
faster than the one you are in now. (Works
every time!)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully
immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability
of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want
to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to
someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch
is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to
a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you
to do something which will last until the
coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only
two people in a locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances
of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing
face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go,
there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is
possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no
feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will
stop making it.

Law of Reality: Murphy was an optimist.
Received on Thu Mar 2 08:18:07 2006