The Substitute Organist

"The Substitute Organist"

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts
of how he was going to, after the worship
service, ask the congregation to come up with
more money than they were expecting for
repairs to the church building.

Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the
regular organist was sick and a substitute
had been brought in at the last minute. The
substitute wanted to know what to play.

"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently.
"But you'll have to think of something to play
after I make the announcement about the
  finances."

During the service, the minister paused and
said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great
difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much
as we expected, and we need $4,000 more.
Any of you who can pledge $100 or more,
please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played
"The Star-Spangled Banner."

And that is how the substitute became the
regular organist!

****************************************

"Answering a Prayer"

The Catholic Church's air conditioning broke down,
so they had to hire a man to crawl around in the
ducts and figure out what was wrong. As the man
peeked down through one of the vents in the
sanctuary, he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling
by the altar, apparently saying her rosary. Since
the man was a fundamental Baptist, he thought it'd
be funny to try and mess with the lady's mind. In
his best authoritative voice, he said, "This is
Jesus. Your prayers will be answered."

The little old lady didn't even blink, just kept
on saying her prayers. The man decided maybe she
didn't hear him, and tried again. "This is Jesus,
the Son of G~d! Your prayers will be answered!"

Again, she didn't react at all. Mustering up a
big breath of air, the man decided to try again.
"THIS IS JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF G~D!
YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!"

The lady looks up and says, "SHUT UP! I'M
TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER!"
Received on Thu Jul 6 00:23:19 2006