Police Quotes

"Police Quotes"

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going.
I guess that means I can write anything I
want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,
but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention
that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm
warning you not to do that again or I'll give
you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will
determine whether you are drunk or not.
Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We
used to have quotas, but now we're allowed
to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In G~d we trust, all others are suspects."
Received on Thu Jul 13 01:24:05 2006